Monday, January 24, 2011

The Bachelor: Mulligan Episode 4

My thoughts on Episode 4:

  1. Crazy Michelle has a black eye.  No camera footage of what happened?
  2. Chris Harrison hasn't shown up yet, but we still get some morning footage to help us realize:
    1. Ashley S. is Ghostface until she puts on makeup.
    2. Shawntel looks like Hilary Swank in Million Dollar Baby
  3. I think they have put 5 new girls in the competition - who are those girls?
  4. Chris Harrison shows up - nice sweater.  I think he stole that off Frank from Ali's season.
  5. 1st date card - Chantal O.
    1. she decides to rock a t-shirt.
  6. Meghan's glasses are huge.  She could have 4 eyes and still have enough space to see out of them.
  7. Ashley S. says in her charmin' southern accent that she wishes she gave Michelle the black eye.  It might have been meant mean, but it came out very sweet.
  8. Brad picks up Chantal in a helicopter - I officially have my Valentine's Date idea.
  9. Chantal mentions being terrified or scared a billion times this week
    1. Uhm, I might be crazy, but wasn't Chantal the one that said she was tough last week?
  10. Brad has something in store for Chantal that will make them feel like they are completely out of the real world.
    1. Great idea.  That will help you once you go back to real life instead of this crazy helicopter ride fantasy dates.
    2. Nothing more romantic than the murky SEA floor.
    3. OMG - Chantal is freaked out getting in the water.  If she was only a tough girl.
    4. I think they saw Koi in the water - is this a pond?
  11. Chantal makes the 1st list for the season - she is the 1st to say that she could be Chantal W. by time this thing is over.  If you don't know the W stands for Womack.
  12. 2nd date card shows up - Michelle threatens violence if she doesn't get a 1 on 1 date.
  13. Brad seems like a robot.
    1. Reading cue cards:  "I truly want to share my life with somebody....I really do."
    2. Chantal O - I like you a lot.
    3. Brad looks up, finds his cue card:  "I like you a lot too, no doubt about it, absolutely no doubt about it."  All of this is said with 0% emotion.
    4. Next cue card - "Kiss"
  14. Michelle getting a little crazy talking to Ashley S. (who has got a little makeup on, she isn't totally ghostface, she just kind of looks pale)
  15. Chantal O. apologizes for slapping Brad and Brad makes a few imprompu jokes without a cue card.
    1. Very impressive work from Brad here, I didn't think he had any part of a personality in him.
  16. Chantal makes up the fact that rain is good luck
    1. I think she might have been thinking about on a wedding day.
    2. Although I'm official considering rain as good luck no matter when it happens.
      1. Also, just a heads up, if you see a rainbow after the rain, its Chris' (from Ali's season) mom watching over you.
    3. Wonder what she thinks snow means?
  17. Awkward date alert - The lucky group date goes to chat with Dr. Drew and then hot tub afterwards.
  18. Brad brings up therapy and learning to open up.
    1. Judging from his use of catchphrases like "safe space" - he has definitely had enough therapy
    2. I'm still judging his facial hair as a moustache.
  19. Stacey shows up.  I'm not sure when she came on the show.
  20. Ashley H. annoys the other girls
    1. And annoys me too.  I hope he boots her soon.
  21. Meghan turns into a therapist for Alli - "he clearly wants to get to know you better".
    1. Alli sits down with Brad for 30 seconds and the Charmin' Ashley S. steals him away.
      1. Alli blows off the hug request from Ghostface.
      2. How come Brad doesn't just say - "Give me a few more minutes'
  22. Brad is psyched that all the girls want to talk to him tonight
    1. Dumb dumb alert - Brad you are the Bachelor, do you think the girls would just want to sit in the hot tub and chat with each other?
  23. Emily reads Michelle's date card.
    1. Michelle is still crazy.
    2. Funeral director Shawntel is shown again.  Seriously Brad, boot her.
  24. Rachel Berry and Stacey explain to us that Ashley H. is a little loopy.
    1. Please don't tell Stacey how she feels.  Don't tell her how she feels because you don't know how she feels.
  25. Britt tells Brad that she has a crush on him.  That is basically all they say and then he tells her to kiss him.
    1. I'm pretty sure that they don't know anything about each other.
      1. I know what Brad stocks in his fridge - eggs, turkey, and water.  I bet Britt doesn't know that.
  26. Brad goes to give out the rose, Ashley H. interrupts by making a odd growling noise, and Brad decides to change who gets the rose.  It goes to Britt - "You told me it intimidates you to talk to me, but you still do it.  We share great kisses" and you have no idea anything about me, but its ok.
  27. Michelle is annoyed that its her day and the only talk is about Ashley H.
    1. I'm annoyed too.  I'm sick of Ashley H.
    2. I'm also annoyed that Michelle is annoyed.  She is getting old.
    3. Brad shows up and pulls Ashley H. off to the side.
      1. He asks Michelle if she minds, she pauses a second and millons of response run through her mind, before saying she doesn't mind
      2. Michelle threatens violence again - elbowing Ashley H. in the face.
        1. I'm encouraging it because they have both become played out and maybe both will have to go.
  28. 2nd helicopter ride of the episode.  Nothing like seeing skyscrapers from a helicopter.
  29. Michelle is afraid of heights, lets send her on the date from Hell by having here rappel from a tall building.
    1. Great idea ABC.  Great idea Bachelor.  Great idea Brad.
    2. If you ever go on the Bachelor, never tell them your real fear or they will exploit it.
  30. Mr. Spontaneous jumps in the pool with his clothes on again.
    1. He kisses Michelle in the pool.
      1. Must be another bad camera angle - no fireworks are visible.
    2. Michelle - talking to the camera - she fake punches and then makes some hand gesture I've only seen in rap videos.  What was that?
  31. Brad calls Michelle a "mature woman".  Obviously, he realizes that she is about 6 years older than all the other girls.
    1. In case you missed it, Michelle is 30.
    2. Brad tells Michelle he is willing to walk away in the end if there are two women he doesn't see forever with left at the end.
      1. I don't believe him.  America hated him last time and there is no way he is willing to do it again.
    3. Brad gives Michelle a rose - saying he could see his life working out well with her.
      1. Brad uses a version of the line "kiss me" on Michelle, its the 3rd time he used this command tonight
  32. Chantal O. drops the famous Bachelor line...."If he picks Michelle, then he isn't the right guy for me"
  33. Thereapist alert.  His therapist is definitely issued by ABC.  He tells Brad to kiss the girls if he wants to and says if they want to kiss him, fantastic.
    1. I think he also just prescribed helicopter rides and hot tubs to help develop romantic connections.
  34. Cocktail party time.  Please boot:
    1. Ashley H. - ugh, she is just so annoying.
    2. Shawntel - she looks like a boxer and is a funeral director.  Get rid of her Brad, seriously.  What are you thinking?
    3. Meghan - no chance she wins.
    4. Stacey - I'm sick of looking her name up everytime she comes on screen.
  35. Brad thinks Shawntel has a comforting look.  Not sure what that means, but I am pretty sure I disagree.  Boot her.  She sees dead people.
    1. Shawntel kisses Brad.
      1. Brad's therapist is thrilled.
  36. Brad talks to Meghan.  She feels confident about getting a rose.  I don't feel as confident for her.  I tried to get her booted last episode.
  37. Brad steals Emily away.  I'll be surprised if they come back.
    1. Chantal O. just feels like she got punched in the stomach.  Its a good thing she is tough.
      1. Nevermind, she is crying.  That gut punch must have really hurt.
      2. Chantel talks to Brad and asks if she needs to seem more needy.  Small talk and a little kissing makes everything ok.
    2. All the girls are not feeling good about the Emily situation.  They all seem to think that they are chasing her as their competition.
      1. If I were the other girls, I would probably just walk away.
  38. Chris Harrison shows up.  Wonder how much he gets paid.  He gets about 1 minute of air time per episode - 1st date card, quick section before handing out the roses, and then announcing the final rose.
  39. On to the handing out of roses....Ashley S (wearing makeup for the cocktail party), Alli, Emily (shocker!), Shawntel (ugh), Lisa (where did she come from?  Is she really dull enough to not say anything all season?),  Rachel Berry (Jackie), Marissa (who is that new girl), here comes Chris Harrison, final rose.....Its between Meghan, Stacey, Ashley H., Linsday.....Ashley H. (I typed that before he even said it).
  40. Meghan - its a blow to her ego.  She says "sucks for her" - handles herself very well as far as exits go for this show.
  41. Stacey - She'll find the right guy soon.  Handles hersef pretty well also.
  42. Lindsay - disappointing.  Rejection is always hard.  A few tears, her dad is going to be proud for being the daughter that her parents raised her to be.
  43. Very disappointing exits - where is the meltdown?
  44. Next week - Las Vegas.  Fireworks.  I'm guessing he kisses Michelle.
  45. Next week - Nascar race date - Emily is on it.  ABC/Bachelor is just cruel.  First the date getting on a plane, now the Nascar date.  Disgusting.
  46. Next week - Chantal O. cries again.  Sheesh.
  47. My final 5 guess:
    1. Emily - Morgan, I'll tape your video to send in to the Bachelorette.  I'm still cheering for her exit in the final 5.
    2. Michelle  - he's already asked to meet her daughter, that means she needs to make the hometown dates
    3. Britt - they already know each other so well
    4. Chantal O.  - tough, not needy, but totally emotional.  exactly the kind of girl that seems like she could use Brad's therapist.
    5. Ashley S. - unless he sees her Ghostface before then.


  1. Nate, gimme 3 weeks to shed as many pounds as possible, then we'll shoot my video

  2. Nate, phenomenally written. Read it along the way.

    Poor Emily..what is ABC thinking? Eesh...

  3. I enjoy this show way much better now having this blog to watch along with.. LOL

    Ashely S.... time bomb

    #13 - total robot... his voice is progressively driving me nuts